Mutants: Humanstuck Davekat
by Hero-of-bedtime
Summary: John introduces a new student at his school to dave.
1. Chapter 1

Just another fucking stupid day. Another day of being Dave strider, or "alien douche" as they called you at school.

A fucking freak, a weirdo, hated yourself and that would never change.  
But still you carried on with empty sorrow,you used to be suicidal, but you've gotten better, you realised people care about you and that you're  
not that useless as you you're actually happy today. Today your going to your bro John Egberts house, Hanging out with Egbert will make me feel better.  
Yeah he's a dork, but he's my friend.  
He's an awesome, amazing dork and he's one of your only guy friends,of course you have your step sister Rose and her girlfriend Kanaya.  
But john was not your sister or sisters girlfriend, he was a real friend; a bro. And yeah we do enjoy each others company,even if we don't even speak  
or utter anything in understandable English. Even if we just sit across from each other saying nothing i still get this feeling of peace and i can actually relax.  
John pestered me today wanting me to come over and play video games with him; i accepted his offer. He also mentioned his friend karkat would also be over.  
I don't know karkat, but johns told me about him. I've heard he's pretty grumpy. He has the messiest black hair with freckles covering his body and face.  
And yeah this kid might end up getting punched, But hopefully i won't end up doing that. But hey, i don't know this kid so i'll give him a chance.

3 pm, I arrive at egberts house greeted by the usual dorky smile he always does and i did a half smile back.  
This kid cheers me up no matter what, his essence just makes the room preppy and happy i guess.I sit on the couch, next to me is his friend,  
Karkat Vantas. He only glares at me, John was spot on about the grumpy part. His eyes, his eyes carried so much emotion.  
You could cover up the rest of this kids face and you could still tell he was angry.  
But everything else i imagined was different. I thought this kid would be ugly as fuck, but no. Damn, actually quite the opposite. He has the most define face,  
and perfect eyebrows woah. Okay no lets stop. "Hey douche nugget are you just gonna stare into space or say fucking hi?" His greeting startled me a bit. shit,  
he has volume. If he screamed you could probably hear him from china. Shit i don't envy the person who has sex with this kid.  
"Yeah, hi kitkat." I was actually staring at him of course, not space, but with the shades of course.  
"Its Karkat you douche." Wow this kid is grumpy. Maybe he will get punched. "Uh okay. Karkat" John was texting someone on his phone.  
I believe his girlfriend who knew karkat, they went to the same middle school. She scared me a lot. John puts a game in the gamecube and handed me a controller.  
"John what game are we fucking playing? I bet you're making us play some shit nic cage game? John why." karkat remarked looking at the game controller. Wow this kid needs to chill.  
"Um no mario kart. Thats cool right?" john muttered sitting down. Karkat made a moaning noise. "Well how do you fuckin play  
this shit?" It took about 5 minutes but john finally explained it to him, and i sit and listen as karkat makes his snappy questions and answers.  
Where did john even find this kid? I kinda want to put this kid in his place but that might not be the greatest idea.  
We played for about an hour. Then we got bored and just sat on johns bed talking and ranting.  
We talk about ourselves, considering karkat and i don't know each other. We talked about karkat mostly, he goes to johns  
high school. He just transferred about a month ago, and they already became friends because no one else was nice to karkat really.  
He moved from california where all his friends were. He used to have a lot of friends, people who he treated like family, people he could tell anything, they  
understood him. He has always been this grumpy short kid he is now. And i could honestly say i wanted to be this kids friend. I wanted him to be able to tell me anything, to be able to tell him anything. I never met someone so

Awkwardly true and honest about who they were. I tend to hide my personality behind my scheme, so this kid was someone i  
could psychologically say i looked up to, because physically i have to look down on him. He talked on and on about this  
girl named Terezi, and his friend Gamzee, and this other kid named Sollux who likes bees. As he talked about these kids  
I started to wonder if he was raised in a cult or some shit because like him they all had the strangest names. Eventually  
we realized it was time to return to our own houses. "Hey karkat, you have a pesterchum?" i yawned standing up. "Why do you  
want to pester me strider?" he said, again glaring at me. "Well maybe i like you but oh well guess not." oops i didn't mean to say  
it like that. That came out wrong as heck. "what-" "No i mean- maybe i want to be your friend" I cut him off. Annnnd he's flustered.  
"Its- Its carcinoGeneticist.. Fuck okay bye." he hissed red as a tomato, and with that he walked out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat.  
TG: hey kitkat  
CG: ITS KARKAT YOU SHIT STAIN. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS. I'VE TOLD YOU ABOUT MAYBE 300 TIMES. DO YOU NOT HAVE MEMORY YOU FUCKING IDIOT?  
TG: ok karkat  
TG: reject the cool nickname  
CG: WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING NAME AGAIN? DON?  
TG: dave  
CG: OKAY DAVE.  
CG: SEE I CAN DO THAT SHIT TOO. DON WHAT A NAME THAT SUITS A PRETENTIOUS DOUCHE NOZZLE LIKE YOURSELF.  
TG: If you were here you would get the most 500% done eye roll.  
CG: YEAH ROLL THOSE IRONIC EYES OF YOURS STRIDER. LIKE I FUCKING CARE THE PROJECTILE MOVEMENT OF THOSE OH SO SPECIAL EYES OF YOURS.  
TG: you're acting pissey today. Did your senpai not notice you?  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP RINGO. JOHN PULLED ONE OF HIS FUCKING PRANKS ON ME.  
CG: SO I'M NOT FUCKING IN A DECENT STEREOTYPICAL HAPPY-DAPPY MOOD RIGHT NOW.  
TG: what did he do?  
CG: HE HID OR TOOK MY COPIES OF JUNO, NEVER BEEN KISSED, AND TITANIC. THE FUCKASS THINKS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS SHIT. NO THIS IS NOT  
A FANFIC THIS IS REAL SHIT, JOHN HAS TO MUCH POWER.  
TG: omg those are yours i was wondering why he was carrying them around. He left them here.  
CG: WHAT. DAMN IT JOHN. DARN YOU ALL THE WAY TO HECK AND BACK.  
TG: yeah. You can have them back i don't like those shitty movies anyway.  
TG: did you see my rap book around anywhere?  
TG: he hid it from me too.  
CG: NOPE SORRY DICK DOUCHE  
TG: shit...  
TG: you sure?  
CG: YEAH BUT I'LL ASK I GUESS IF I SEE THAT WHORE.  
CG: HE'S GETTING ON MY FUCKING NERVES  
TG: thanks, i owe you  
CG: OKAY MAYBE LATER.  
TG: ok  
TG: so where are you headed now?  
CG: UH ON ANOTHER TOPIC HOW ARE YOU STRIDER?  
TG: im good, you?  
CG: YEAH BEEN PREPPIER ACTUALLY  
TG: whats wrong? you're getting your movies back are you on your period  
CG: FUCK OFF.  
TG: dude is everything ok?  
CG: I AM VERY FUCKING ANTI SOCIAL TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH. I HAVEN'T REALLY TALKED TO SOMEONE IN PERSON FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE FUCKING EVER.  
TG: Shit dude. well you know. i'm right here if you want to hang out.  
CG: YEAH WELL. I GUESS. BUT YOU'RE ALSO KINDA a DOUCHE.  
TG: Lets hang out kittykat.  
CG: STRIDER WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THIS TERRIBLE PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL KIT- KITTYKAT?  
TG: aw come on, karkat.  
TG: its just hanging out.  
TG: its not a make out party.  
CG: BUT STILL YOU JUST CALLED ME A CAT  
TG: dont make me beg.  
CG: YOU COULD HANG OUT WITH JOHN I MEAN WHAT MAKES ME SO FUCKING GREAT. WHY ARE YOU BEGGING. WOW I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THAT BUT I GUESS YOU'RE FUCKING WEAK  
TG: shit you seem lonely okay you nerd. And he's hanging out with his girlfriend and her ex which is weird but not my business.  
TG: plus me and john always hang out.  
TG: or maybe i want to spend time with you.  
CG: OKAY STRIDER, I WILL COMMENCE IN THIS HANGING OUT WITH YOU.  
TG: yay  
CG: BUT YOU HAVE TO LET ME SEE THOSE FUCKING EYES.  
TG: see my eyes...?  
TG: why?  
CG: I DON'T KNOW. ITS LIKE ONE OF THOSE MYSTERY THINGS I WANT TO FIND OUT. CAUSE ITS LIKE THE ONLY THING INTERESTING ABOUT YOU.  
TG: Shit fine. But you have to come over? today.  
CG: YEAH. OKAY THERES A BUS AT 2.  
TG: Cool. Well i got to get off. See ya.  
CG: YEAH OKAY STRIDER BYE.  
turntechGodhead [TG] disconnected.

The young cancer slid out from his desk with an loud almost moaning sigh."FUCK. What the hell am i supposed to do now? Damn it strider.  
I'm going to definitely dig my own fucking fuck you emotions! Maybe i'll- NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.." he stood up and ran his fingers through  
his thick dark hair which was in the same fucking knots it always in. Being Greek, he had olive tone skin and dark black hair.  
"Gog damnit. I have to actually brush the shit nest so called hair.." It took him a while, but eventually he brushed his hair thoroughly.  
Good job you grumpy baby. Since brushing your hair you're going to go places, maybe even hollywood. Wow maybe star in a romcom. You brush your hair, for the d-  
the d stride eyes."Yeah i'm doing this because striders eyes not for strider... for his eyes.. What if he thinks i'm gay.. Am i gay..?-  
NOPE I NEED TO STOP NOW.." He threw the brush and looked at his crab shapped watch (How ironic lul), and shit of course he was going to miss the bus.  
"DAMN IT!" He ran out Slamming the door. With a piece of toast in his mouth. (kidding) Seconds later and he would be late and that's not good. No shit that's not good. You gon be man you can't be late  
like the failure you are.

*~At striders apartment door yeahhhh~*

He stood in front of that door. That doki doki strider door.(sorry) He slowly but hesitantly knocked twice. "gog did i knock too many times.." he thought nervously,  
but was obviously ridiculous because you knocked 2 fucking times. Thats normal you worrying lil door opened not 3 seconds later by a tall man.  
Blonde hair, shades, this must be freckle boys brother. The tall man smiled "So you must be kat. Come on in daves in his room

the last door to the left.."  
Karkat breathed in, but not getting frustrated. "Yeah thanks. But its karkat. Yeah." Bro nodded and sat on the couch. Karkat walked down the long hall  
until he reached daves door knocking on it twice. You did it again karkat the double knock. You desperate hoe. "bro no we already strifed 3 times no please."  
dave called from his chair next to the computer. "No dipshit its karkat." karkat sighed. "Can i come in?" he almost growled, but dave was soon to the door,  
"Yeah sure if you really want to. or you can just sit out here if that's what you want." Strider smirked sitting back down. Karkat growled closing the door behind him  
"So strider, what are we going to fucking do?" "well we can play video games, talk, sex, board game, or you can worship me for the rest of eternity your call."  
dave stretched his arms out on his chair. "Oh fuck you strider." Karkat sat on the floor looking at his hands. "no not yet lets get to know each other better."  
dave remarked grabbing game controllers. Karkat hissed grabbing the controller. They played for about 30 minutes but soon got bored. karkat and dave sat on daves bed across from one another.  
Karkat bit his lip in hesitation "Uh You should show me your eyes..." Dave grimaced and sighed pulling off his glasses. "Happy? I'm a freak." Karkat stared in astonishment,  
"Oh my god there so fucking cool oh my god this is like something in a fan fic.." Dave closed his eyes sighing. "But i'm a fucking freak its not-"  
Dave opened his eyes a bit when 'fanfiction' lingered. "You read fanfiction?-" karkat got a little flustered.  
"DAVE- PLEASE DON'T DO THAT DON'T YOU ARE A WONDERFUL HUMAN AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT" He gulped releasing his burst out might not have be appropriate  
"Karkat. I'm a mutant, i don't deserve existence. Its not fucking natural." dave interrupted now by this time looking away from him.  
Karkat couldn't convince any other way so he turned to him. "Dave. look at me." dave turned to see karkat taking out- he was taking out his teeth?  
karkat took out false teeth to reveal his extremely pointed teeth. "You fucking see strider. I'm a freak too." karkat growled with a little torment in his mouth.  
Dave paused, putting his shades on his desk and getting a better look at karkats teeth. He stared silent for about almost a fucking minute god damn it striders  
are weird. "Karkat," he finally spoke. "Dave..?" Karkat said with slight question, dave was moving closer to karkat. And karkat was fucking karkat so he was starting to  
turn red as hell. "dAVE" Karkat choked dave less than 2 inches from his nose just staring at him. oh shit shit shit karkat he's going to do the thing.  
The THING. kISS. KISS YOU. karkat was just about to faint (lol girly karkats gonna faint). But before dave could even touch noses with karkat the door swung open.  
Bro stood there for a good 5 seconds (damnit striders). "Dave if you're going to do it with-" karkat stood up jolting to the door sliding under bro. "BYE DAVE I- I HAVE TO GO-"  
the two striders stood next to each other hearing the front door close. Bro smirked at dave holding back laughter "The one that-" "BRO STOP" dave shook his head.  
"THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY" bro finished and walked out. "THIS AIN'T OVER" dave shouted and sat back on his bed.


	3. Chapter 3

/This chapter is a little short sorry, i'll probably finish this story on chapter 4, but don't worry! I'll write more homestuck and davekat!/

===Be Karkat vantas. Today you're going to your friend john's house. You hadn't seen or heard from "him" in days... Him referring to fucking Dave Strider, the person  
you almost had your first kiss with... John told you he's heard from him though so you're not to worried, i mean you did leave him in an awkward place. Sitting on  
his bed, bout to kiss a nerdy short kid, brother walks in. Yeah thats pretty awkward. You feel shitty about it, but haven't even tried to pester him, and he  
hasn't pestered you. The ainxety is killing you. Well atleast you can relax at johns house, maybe that will take your stress away. You might even sleep over at  
his house, if you feel like it.

====Be Dave Strider.  
Bro was sitting on the couch talking to you. You are still very embarrassed by the past events and kinda regret them.  
Bro sipped his drink and layed back solomlly. "I hope you know you're fucking grounded." You blinked at his sentence biting your words.  
"wH-what?! WHYyyyyy?" you slip out in sort of a bitchy wine. He looked at you like you were bullshitting all his past words.  
"Listen here ya little douche, you have a girlfriend and thats called cheating." You gave him the same bullshit look.  
"SINCE WHEn DO I HAVe a GIRLFRIEND?" oh shit he thinks tz is your grilfriend. Not even oh my god. "Fuck yeah you do! That little blind girl, uh whats her name uh..?  
Terror sea? right?" oh god you were laughing so hard now. 'Terror sea' oh god. "No, no, not even if anything she would be nubs girlfriend.."  
"Then you're grounded for getting a nerd to cheat on his blind girlfriend. God that even sounds horrible. Dave horrible." he softly but firmly hit you on the head.  
"Bad Dave." you sighed and sat up. "But karkat isn't even dating her. His bestfriend who she hates will probably cockblock and ruin everything for them and have  
angry sex with her. Unless one of them dies first." "Wait what do you mean unless-" "You'll understand later." you walked yourself over to the entrance of the hallway.  
"Dave. You're grounded for having sex with him." you jumped over and flipped on the couch back next to him. "we didn't frick." he gleamed his eyes backing out of the room  
"oh but you will.. buy you can go to that sleep over cause your not fricking with john okay." he disapeared into the darkness mysteriously (so gay).  
You turn around from bros direction staring at the blank tv. i wonder how john is-  
SHIT WERE HAVING THAT SLEEPOVER THING TODAY. You look at your wrist watch and sure enough yeah you have an hour.

You are at Johns house, It is december 8th and already cold as shit. Its Just you and john. Well his dad will be home later of course but not till like 10. You are currently  
watching ghost busters when a knock intruepts you. John stood up and walked towards the door anwsering it. "Ah yeah.. i invited him too.." john rubbed the back of his head.  
"oH...okay..." What a familar voice. So familar that you think you know that voice. Wait. A young vantas walks over and sits at the oppisite end of the couch you are on.  
No eye contact is made what so ever but you see him gleam over and you gleam over at him ever so often. An awkward silence is intreupted by john"So karkat! We  
were watching ghost busters! But its almost over sooooo we can watch something you or dave might like maybe? Dave?" You sigh doing a clicking noise. "uhh.. he can  
decide.." You scooted farther from karkat. "Well john you see as i had a slight hunch this would happen so i brought Mean Girls, Its way better than this shit atleast."  
John grabbed the the case from karkats hands. "Pfft as if... But guys i've been thinking theres this Abandon warehouse like a block and a half away, Vriska and tavros  
are going to be over there and they said we could come! i'm feeling mischevious so you wanna go?" You pause for a second. "yeah. sure." John looks at karkat in  
anticpation."HMMMMMM?" john hums impatiently leaning towards karkat. Karkat sighed and made a low growl. "mmmththmuu.." he mumbled something not clear.  
"Karkat i can't hear you.." Karkat took a deep breath "IF DAVE GOES I'LL GO." he spat out quickly. woah really? I thought he hated me or something. John  
giggled "YES!"  
_

"John are we fucking lost?" John turns around to karkat. "Pfft no silly..." John stops walking. "Yeah probably." karkat kicked some snow towards his oppisite  
direction in frustration. "Hey hoe nubs what the hell!" you turn around to see vriska yelling at karkat with tavros behind. Well i guess were not lost. "Hey John!" Vriska ran  
towards john kissing him. well not a kiss. But she sorta just grabbed his face and bit and licked it. around his lips though. You glanced over to karkat who was  
of course glancing back was blushing. You been so messed up about not kissing him you forgot how much you wanted to. I mean he's basically perfect. And you also notice  
that he's grown an inch maybe an inch and a half making him about the same height as john. "Soooooooo guys... Ya get lost?" vriska snorted dragging tavros wheelchair behind  
while we all continued walking.


End file.
